Regardless of one's political affiliations, Vice President Joe Biden's very public display of grief over the recent loss of his son was palpable. President Barack Obama's moving and emotional eulogy at Beau Biden's funeral was equally mesmerizing in terms of his public mourning on display. Much has been written about Joe Biden's tragedies throughout his life and how these losses came to define him as a public servant. Likewise, President Obama's life has arguably been shaped by grief and loss. Nowhere was this more apparent then when the two men hugged and shared a brief, knowing kiss on the cheek. Gone were the trappings of public service and governmental protocol, and instead these were two ordinary men simply sharing an extraordinary moment, shaped by an understanding of what guttural, emotional pain feels like.
Intense moments of grief become watersheds in our lives. There is forever more a "before" and an "after". Nothing is ever quite the same. Just like the joys in our lives, intense moments of grief can shape us, define us and alter our worldview. For many, grief leads to empathy. When we have been wounded emotionally, the hurts of others are more brightly illuminated. That newly found vision may be more clear with others grieving over similar circumstances, but our empathy tends to be enhanced in more general terms as well. Pain is pain.
Not everyone's grief merges into empathy. For some, it can transform into negative and bitter emotions. But, the potential for our grief to become empathy for others is always there. This is one of the few human universals - emotional pain. To be human is to hurt, and grief is inescapable if we are to live life fully. As a result, we are all called to kindness, compassion and understanding for all people everywhere. Grief and loss come in all forms. So, let's smile warmly at that person standing next to us in the checkout line. They've been hurt, too, and that pain has defined them as our pain has defined us. We are united in our humanness, in our emotional states, and in our desire to make sense of it all.
Be kind to each other and to yourself.
© Copyright 2015 Douglas Layer, M.A., LPCC
Intense moments of grief become watersheds in our lives. There is forever more a "before" and an "after". Nothing is ever quite the same. Just like the joys in our lives, intense moments of grief can shape us, define us and alter our worldview. For many, grief leads to empathy. When we have been wounded emotionally, the hurts of others are more brightly illuminated. That newly found vision may be more clear with others grieving over similar circumstances, but our empathy tends to be enhanced in more general terms as well. Pain is pain.
Not everyone's grief merges into empathy. For some, it can transform into negative and bitter emotions. But, the potential for our grief to become empathy for others is always there. This is one of the few human universals - emotional pain. To be human is to hurt, and grief is inescapable if we are to live life fully. As a result, we are all called to kindness, compassion and understanding for all people everywhere. Grief and loss come in all forms. So, let's smile warmly at that person standing next to us in the checkout line. They've been hurt, too, and that pain has defined them as our pain has defined us. We are united in our humanness, in our emotional states, and in our desire to make sense of it all.
Be kind to each other and to yourself.
© Copyright 2015 Douglas Layer, M.A., LPCC